I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
