Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
