Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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