you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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