i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
