just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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