He kissed a someone with a penis
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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