if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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