The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
