The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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