Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
