He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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