it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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