I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
