so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
