i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
