Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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