Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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