Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
