I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Green mimosas i think yes
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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