shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
