I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
