yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
