Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
