and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
