His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
