i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We had to coat check the pizza.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
