People in love make me want to vomit
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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