I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
