how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
