I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Are my feet made of real feet?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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