I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize