i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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