He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
