Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
