I showed him my bush... on skype.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
