and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
