You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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