maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
farters have to be the big spoon...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
