He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
