in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
