I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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