I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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