i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
