I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
