i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
