I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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