Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
