Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
