Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
