i wish peter jackson would direct porn
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
