I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
