Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
