Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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