I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
someone owes me an orgasm
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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