You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
