I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
