Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
