either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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