Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize