i just wanna soil my oats bro
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
