ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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