I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
